Have you noticed just how stressful the Christmas season has become? Despite our best efforts to plan the perfect holiday, too often, instead of joy and sweet memories, there are so many tears and disappointed hearts. (And I haven’t even gotten to our children yet!)
For the next few weeks, we’ll explore four tips to make Christmas more joyful, less stressful, and (mostly) tear-free.
Here’s Tip #1
Check your expectations at the door! Expectations are rotten little criminals that are the foundation of a stressed-out, rather than stress-free, Christmas season. Both parents and children suffer from the expectation traps that catch us up and rob our joy.
As adults, our expectations are most often wrapped up in how “people” (aka our spouse, children, and extended families) recognize our hard work to make the holidays special. When we expend time and energy to decorate, bake, select that “just right” gift, and create the perfect Christmas atmosphere, it is disappointing when no one seems to notice. Even when our efforts are noticed, let’s be honest… they’re never noticed quite enough. The fruit of unmet expectations is pretty ugly. Attitudes like moodiness, self-pity, bitterness, and anger begin to pop up, affecting everyone in the family.
There is really only one way to kill those nasty expectations. We must confess them to the Lord as pride and self-centeredness, seek His forgiveness, and then ask for hearts that serve sacrificially and wholeheartedly out of a place of gratitude. It is a privilege to serve others with excellence. However, we can only do that when we are living with thankfulness toward the Lord and purposefully recognizing how graciously and sacrificially He has served us.
Now, how about our kids? Children’s expectations more often show up as disappointment because they didn’t receive what they wanted, get to attend something that hoped to attend, or they just “thought” things would be different. We can help our children corral their expectations by pointing them toward thankfulness and away from discontent. Statements like: “I know you wanted that Lego set from your grandmother, but isn’t it special that she cared enough to get you this book?” or “I was hoping we could go to that party, too, but your little sister needs a nap, and we all have to be on the same team.” can help your children begin to develop the (very hard) perspective of we-don’t-always-get-what-we want, and that’s okay! Children are transparent little creatures, sometimes signaling their expectations with statements like: “But you promised!” when all you did was acknowledge something they brought up.
When your children are especially laden down with unmet expectations, it is helpful to ask them to share three things they’re thankful for with you. Changing their gaze from disappointment to gratitude will do wonders for their attitude. Psstt…that little tool works great for moms and dads, too.
Gratitude is the greatest antidote to grumbling, and at their core, expectations are an unhealthy cesspool where the disease of grumbling thrives.
There you have it… Tip #1 for a stress-free Christmas. Checking your expectations at the door will go far in helping you enjoy all that this season offers. Stay tuned for Tip #2, which discusses the danger of an out-of-control holiday calendar.
Megan Scheibner 